King of the Catfish
by Lunaptra Amunala
Summary: Camp Half-Blood is done for the summer, and Percy is back in Manhattan. Of all the places, he is waiting in line, at a meatmarket, in a Chinatown supermarket. What does he do to entertain himself? Read and find out. This is my first fanfic, and it IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY the fish part is ... I can't really think like Percy, but eh. Hope it made you laugh.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE PERCY JACKSON SERIES; THEY ALL BELONG TO RICK RIORDAN. I ALSO DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE LYRICS OF THE CUPID SHUFFLE BY CUPID.**

"Numbah eight-six-fowh! Bah-liew-suh!" the man called out in broken English and Chinese.

I sighed. I'm number 882, and I've been waiting in line for twenty minutes now. Plus the fact that I have ADHD doesn't really help. I've been fidgeting a lot, and no matter how much I try to stop it, I just can't, so I used a trick that I learned at camp. It appears to be that I can only seriously focus on battle tactics and happy memories.

That being the case, I tried to think about what happened at Camp Half-Blood before we left for the school year. Man, those Apollo kids are crazy! During our whole last week at camp, the whole cabin randomly decided to add _dancing lessons _to the bonfire sing-alongs. The last dance we learned: the Cupid Shuffle. I felt so stupid doing it. I would have rather gone back into and get lost in the Labyrinth than have to dance in front of others. But I must admit, I kind of had fun, especially since Annabeth was there to help relieve some of the torture. _Some_. So Annabeth and I (she's been correcting me on that so many times already), Juniper and Grover, Clarisse and Chris, and a bunch of the other camp couples just danced 'til we were all wasted. I guess Chiron lifted the curfew for that day.

Next day, packed up my stuff, blah blah blah, hang out with Tyson and some other buds, and then finally went to Half-Blood Hill. I have no idea when it became official, but it's kinda been a tradition between me and Annabeth to meet each other right under the pine tree during the last two hours of camp. So it was just the two of us, goofing around, playing minor pranks on campers we see leaving. We'd kissed a little bit (one thing I'm definitely looking forward to next summer), and when our rides come, we would race down the hill and say our goodbyes at the bottom.

Fast forwarding now… I'm back with my mom (and Paul) in Manhattan. I've missed them both so much while at camp, and I'm getting to know Paul a little bit better. Anyways, where am I right now? We decided on Chinese food tonight, and my mom _insisted _on the whole home-made dinner thing. She's got the recipe and stuff ready, so she sent me to Chinatown to buy a few grocery items. So that pretty much explains where I am right now. I'm waiting in line, at the meat market part of a giant grocery market, trying to get some seriously weird stuff like duck wings and chicken liver.

"Eight-six-nine! Bah-liew-jiu!"

I groaned, then unconsciously, I started humming the Cupid Shuffle. I saw a great blob move from the corner of my eye. My head jerked to the right as my hand gripped Riptide, and I spotted a tank full of catfish. Wow. I had _just _noticed the fish market. Turning my head back, I restarted the chorus for Cupid Shuffle. Dang that song was catchy. The moving blob was there again, and I turned back to my right. Still just the catfish tank. Weird… I walked up closer and stared at them.

_To the right, to the right,_ I started in my head. All of the catfish immediately swam to their right. I grinned.

"Let's try an experiment," I muttered to no one in particular. I had lots of time to kill anyways.

_To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right… _The fish swam to _their _right in four short jerks.

_To the left, to the le-eft, to the left, to the left…_ Four quick jerks to their left.

_And kick, and kick, and kick, and kick… _The flicked their tails for times.

_And walking by yourself, wa-walking by yourself… _They all turned around into a completely different direction.

"Yes!" I shouted as if I won the lottery. Then I noticed all the people staring at me.

"Uh, I mean… Look at this _amazing _deal for catfish!" I motioned my hands towards the fish tank as if it were some treasure. "Only one ninety-nine per pound! Wow, that is just… incredible!" I put on my best this-is-the-best-thing-that's-ever-happened-to-me smile.

Some of them nodded in agreement, and others just turned back to whatever they were doing. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Eight-seven-five! Bah-chi-oo!" he shouted.

"Oh forget it…" I went to pay for what I already had and started looking for other places that sold *checks list* Duck wings, whole quail, squabs, ox intestines, chicken and duck liver, and frog legs. I have absolutely _no idea _what the heck squabs are but I hope I can find some before all the stores close.

When I look up, what do I see? Almost all the shops are either closed or closing. I swear I felt my left eye twitch a little. Dropping my head, I walked back into the grocery market.

"Number eight-seven-eight! Bah-chi-bah!" Only four more to go… back to the dancing catfish…


End file.
